painting
in a way, i try and isolate myself from the bad in the world. i don’t have a tv so i don’t have to watch all the terrible images of war and destruction in the world. i do follow the news sometimes though. i am connected to the world by the radio and the internet. i listen to npr now and then when i’m in my truck and it is a news hour, and i check cnn.com just about every day and read a few headlines, only occasionally reading an actual article. sometimes i take a “news fast” for a few weeks or more and don’t listen to npr or check cnn.com, because i get too sick with all the bad news out there. now is one of those times when i’m going to tune it all out for a while. i want to carry a positive outlook and have faith in the good things of life and as i was taught growing up in church, “garbage in…garbage out.” what good does it do me to fill my head with all the horrible things going on?
obviously, the va.tech story has been saturating the airwaves. but you know, suicide bombers are blowing themselves up in the streets in iraq every day, taking innocent lives down with them. usually those stories are but a sentence in the news. i mean, i guess i can understand that because this happened in america, because americans died, because the motive is so elusive, we hunger for news about it as a society. it seems that there cannot be enough details to describe it. well, those folks dying in iraq are human if not american. it really shouldn’t make so much of a difference if people are dying on the other side of the country, or the other side of the world. we’re living in hard times. we’re in a pressure cooker and the pressure is blowing the lid off.
i find solace in painting. before i opened a restaurant i used to paint a lot. actually, the days before i opened satchel’s i was building a studio to paint in. then i was swallowed by the beast that is satchel’s and my painting fell by the wayside. now and then i get back to it, but i haven’t yet found the rythm i once had where one painting would lead to another and another and before i knew it i had a series of 20 paintings expressing my moods and my days. the last couple nights i’ve been painting and it has been food for my soul. i was eager to get back to my painting tonight, like a good book where you are looking forward to the time to read some more chapters. and out there in the quiet of the studio i can hear the crickets and sometimes even a nearby owl. it’s heaven. all those struggles and anxieties and obstacles of my day get cleared out and paved over. and then after a couple hours there is an image in front of me that somehow says more about how i feel than words. it’s a great feeling.
i worked this morning form about 9am – 1pm, then went back to work from 4 – 8:30. it was on the slow side for us, and i so i rushed home to catch up with c and paint. coming in from the studio i had to echo what was going on in my mind out there… thinking some about the news, how it can consume me, and so much of society. and about painting and how it can calm me and give me joy and remind me that there is hope. i think if it weren’t for the news we’d all be better off. i think people would be generally more cheerful and friendly if they didn’t have to always know that somewhere, people are being blown to bits by bombers or shot by gunmen or raped or molested or whatever… i may be wrong in doing so, but i like to focus on the good things happening in my little world, enjoy the laughter and friendship of my friends and family, and try to combat the horrors of the world by simply staying optimistic…(and trying to create my own world full of good food and music and fun and art and flair..)
i’m sorry to get into all this. i know i’ve probably said too much. i just needed the extra expression of words tonight to add with the expression of paint. i tell you what, i will take a photo of the painting i’m working on and include it here in the next week sometime. then i’m sure it will all make perfect sense. ha
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